Tag: Apologies to my OBGYN

Alyssa’s Final Exam

Alyssa Brown 

Dr. Foss

Disability & Literature

April 30, 2020 

Prompt Three: Utopia Redefined in Rebecca Foust’s, “Apologies to my OBGYN”

Disability, as discussed in Rosemarie Garland Thomson’s paper, “The Case for Conserving Disability,” is threatened by religious teachings, the science and medical field as well as general ableist perspectives. This danger appears through the promotion and possible progression of a eugenics movement that agrees with the research and potential removal towards disabilities that could be ‘eradicated’ from existence entirely.  The piece connects with Rebecca Foust’s, “Apologies to my OBGYN,” as the speaker tells the story of cruel behavior endured by a discriminatory doctor and staff.  People in positions of power may feel their actions are justified because of their outlook on Autism, and the ways in which they believe that child may or may not end up living their lives. The speaker suggests a redefined utopia exists with the presence of disability in our world; A utopia that appreciates and celebrates difference rather than rejects the notion entirely for a “normal” world. 

The speaker’s emphasis of apology chooses to acknowledge their doctor’s belief that the child they have birthed is a burden to the medical staff. The repetition is orchestrated in a manner that allows the practices’ ableist mindset of the child being a “burden” or “failure” to make the reader sick to their stomach. The frustrated and Truth unraveling voice of the speaker in “Apologies to my OBGYN” belongs to Rebecca Foust, as disclosed in an early 2015 reading of her poetry. She calls it a specieses of rant and curse poem, in which she addresses negligent behaviour of her male doctor towards herself and her child, as well as the treatment of male doctors towards female patients.  It is important to consider that women find it necessary to apologize in situations that do not need to be forgiven, because they are expected to humble and redeem themselves from “being in the wrong” when they were not in the wrong to begin with. Expanding on the nature of her apology, Foust’s son was belittled and stigmatized because of his “difficulty” being premature and Autistic, which inspired the writing of her profound poem. She makes sure to focus on the irony of the anaphora used through repetition of the word “Sorry” in nearly every stanza. “Sorry that my boy birthed himself too early / Sorry we were such pains in your ass / Sorry about how he defied your prognoses / sorry he took so much of your time …” The sarcasm of this apology sheds light on what couldn’t be predicted, and shouldn’t be blamed for, but was made to feel like a source of shame because of her doctor’s view of an Autistic child. 

The idea of preserving, rather than opening a door for eugenics and eliminating disabilities such as Autism all together is threatening to doctors like the one that has been mentioned by the speaker. The lines that follow the speaker’s apology include, “Took up so much room in your prenatal nursery / that he did everything backwards / skyrocketed premiums, weighted the costs.” This general kind of doctor to patient attitude is the same kind in Thomson’s piece that speaks for genetic manipulation and selective abortion to get the mother of a disabled child to not take up so much space or become an expense rather than a newborn deserving of the same care as every child that is birthed in their care. As mentioned in “The Case for Conserving Disability” on page 340, when a child with a disability or presumed disability enters this world, they can be seen as a “catastrophe or a failing.” This coincides with the view of the doctor’s treatment towards the speaker and their child. Because they are already seen as a weight in our society, and a failure by the doctor, they come to recognize that they have been abused by the system.” The male doctor has a preconceived idea of how his authoritarian behavior, that is based off of a belief that an Autistic child is not “normal” by medical standards, is benefiting this child and his mother. He is cold rather than welcoming, discouraging rather than supportive. Instead of progressing our species towards a utopia, he is enabling a dystopia that is built on the foundation of ableist ideals. 

The original concept of utopia operates under the idea that everybody is equal, and all live in harmony, yet exclusion of Autism and disability in general completely rejects this notion. The final stanzas of Foust’s poem reveal that the existence of her Autistic child in this world has not and will never be a burden.  Instead, his differences contribute to the overall message of a redefined utopianism that is brought to life by the speaker when they state, “He spent / today saving hopeless-case nymph moths trapped in the porchlight, one matrix-dot / at a time, and now he’s asleep; blue wingbeat pulse fluttering his left temple; there, / there again. Just like it did then.” His life was always enough, his existence was enough. The hospital staff treated an Autistic individual like a hopeless specimen, destined for failure just like one might treat the moths moving towards porchlight. The Truth that should have been acknowledged is this: We cannot experience a bright and progressive future for humankind if we are not inclusive of disability, and the differences that our species should accept instead of eradicate overtime. Much like what is mentioned in August’s and Ronan’s story on page 351 of  “The Case for Conserving Disability,” human relationships give us, “the opportunity to profoundly love another human being.” This was never considered or cared about by the male doctor or hospital staff addressed in Foust’s poem. The utopia we should envision is one that seeks harmony and equal opportunity of people, no matter what their differences may be.

Rosemarie Garland Thomson’s paper, “The Case for Conserving Disability,” introduces an ableist idea of what utopia could be if disability was eradicated entirely. However, Rebecca Foust’s, “Apologies to my OBGYN” ultimately offers a redefined version of what a “perfect” world  should be, as it’s ending rejects the negative treatment towards the speaker when her Autistic child was born into this world. The idea of a utopia that is “inclusive,” yet rejects the differences of human beings, needs to be seen as dystopian and prejudiced. The hospital staff in Foust’s poem needed to appreciate differences, rather than despise them, and value the existence of an Autistic child as enough. 

Word Count: 1061

I Pledge: Alyssa Brown 

Works Cited

Foust, R. (2018, January 09). Poems. Retrieved April 30, 2020, from http://rebeccafoust.com/poems/

Garland-Thomson, Rosemarie. (2012). The Case for Conserving Disability. Journal of bioethical inquiry. 9. 339-55. 10.1007/s11673-012-9380-0. 

Rebecca Foust. “Anaphora second person in “Apologies to my OBGYN” by Rebecca Foust” Youtube, 27 Mar. 2015, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk_zgz0szXI

James Pryor’s Major Project: Visual Art Piece; Glass Press

For my final project I chose to do a visual art piece. The physicality of the piece is two panes of 8×10 glass compressed together with excerpts of poetry from our class, along with both fabric and real flowers in between said pieces of glass. The compression on the glass is caused by the symmetrical placing four of heavy-duty binder clips against the glass.

The metaphorical ideas behind the creation of this piece stem from the ideas of preservation. By using excerpts from the following poems; Rebecca Foust’s “Apologies to my OBGYN,” Craig Romkema’s “Perspectives,” John Lee Clark’s, “Deaf Blind: Three Squared Cinquain,” and Emily Dickinson’s “Much Madness is divinest Sense,” the viewer sees art created by disabled authors, who are often forgotten in art. Whether it be the art of a disabled person being invalidated, or straight up destroyed due to living in a violently ableist society, the reality is that nondisabled people choose to overlook the art created by disabled artists. However, while there is an unmeasurable amount of art that has been lost due to ableism, the art that remains is preserved eternally. Placing the poem excerpts between two panes of glass ensures the security of not being tossed aside. This metaphor of fighting for visibility is continued with the intentional strain that has been placed on the paper the poems are on. An ableist society is one that attempts to crumple up the art made by disabled people and throw it aside, because they do not value it with the same weight as their own art.

The ugly truth is that nondisabled individuals do not want to hear about the personal experience of those with disabilities. Often when a disabled person is recounting their own personal struggled, nondisabled peers will berate them for complaining or whining, implying that talking about these ableist interactions in life are the fault of the disabled person, not the oppressive structure society has been founded on. On the other side of this doubled edged sword, if a disabled person views their disability in a positive light, they are also berated by nondisabled people who push the ideas that anyone who is not inside their definition of normal needs to be “fixed” or “cured.” The use of the flowers in this piece coincide with the wishes of the Disabled Rights Movement, where flowers are seen as beautiful, disabled individuals should not automatically be considered worthless or seen as eyesores to the greater idea of humanity as a whole. The use white and blue pansies, alongside the red rose petals stand for the beauty of each individual. However, the inclusion of the pink and yellow orchids calls attention to the issue of death against disabled people. This applies specifically to Foust’s poem, where she recounts the neglect her son faced from medical professionals who deemed her son not worth the effort to keep alive, unfortunately a common prejudice held by doctors and nurses alike.

Preserving the art made by disabled individuals, and by extension the disabled community, is a key factor in creating a society that will not overflow with ableist prejudices. Nondisabled people need to learn empathy for those who do not fall into their rigid categories of normal; exposure to art made from every point of view is the best way to teach others to care about humanity as a whole, not just those within their line of sight.

I pledge.

Word count: 569

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