Keith Banner’s short story “The Wedding of Tom to Tom” discusses the infantilization of characters with disabilities and the infringement on their sexualities. While Tom and Tom do have their own story line and do have a happy ending, though brief. Banner includes the relationship between Anita and Archie as a comparison to Tom and Tom to show the privilege of Anita’s sexuality and love life. This comparison brings attention to the social restraints that the disabled community faces surrounding sexuality and love.
In society the restrictions of adults with disabilities is due to the belief that people with disabilities do not have sexual or romantic desires and are not the object of sexual or romantic desires.The woman in charge of the group home, Kate Anderson-Malloy restricts the men from even holding hands because apparently they get carried away. This infantilizes the men because hand holding is not sexual and is not harmful. She enlists the opinion of Tom A’s guardian about the relationship between Tom and Tom. She then decides that Tom A should move to another facility. Not once does Kate ask the opinions of the couple that is being questioned. Kate is significant as she represents the systematic infantilization of people with disabilities. She most likely has been taught that relationships between members of the group home are not allowed. This is then taught to Anita and Raquel, this shows the system preventing a relationship from happening. This may be because the opinions of society limit who can consent to a relationship and who can partake in sexual behavior. Similarly, Anita’s reaction to walking in on the Toms at the beginning of the story is different from the reaction from Kate walking in on the couple later. This can be related to Anita not having the same time and being less impressionable to the opinions of the group home industry than Kate. The group home industry and those making decisions regarding people living with disabilities do not allow for autonomy of one’s sexuality due to the systematic infantilization of people with disabilities.
The relationship of Tom and Tom is both successful in its perseverance and harmful to the study of disability as it is used to bring attention to Anita’s relationship. Banner was able to give Tom and Tom their own story line where they could get married, but not without helping to make a statement on Anita’s relationship. Anita narrates her feelings toward love and being loved through her unspoken monologue: “Love has to happen at the end of every night, or you don’t know yourself,” (Banner 75). This quotation from the text shows how after witnessing the love of Tom and Tom even though their love is not allowed, she wants to be in love and stops pushing away the man who she is allowed to love, although it seems to be the wrong thing to do. The idea that love is how people feel validated is shown through this, as Anita makes a questionable decision of letting Archie back into her life. It is also credible that Tom and Tom get more of a happy ending, although it is understood that they will be separated, they do get a happy moment at the end of the story. The love story for Tom and Tom is great, it challenges the societal norm for romance and sexuality for people with disabilities.
I hereby declare upon my word of honor that I have neither given nor received unauthorized help on this work. Meredith Miller
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