Lizzie Wordham
For my song, I was hesitant to sing from the point of view of someone who is disabled, as I am not and didn’t want to misrepresent. However, after our various readings I felt like I had somewhat of a grasp on some of the particular struggles and felt that I would be able to represent some of them. I think the main goal of my song was to display the disconnect between the able-bodied community and the disabled, as well as how a disabled person may want others to treat them. During class, one of the members of my small group shared that they tried not to hold certain things against able-bodied people, as they often don’t know how to act around disabled people. In this write up, I will pull out specific lines and verses and explain their meaning to me and how they relate to class material. I have put the lyrics at the end for reference.
In the most recent book we’ve read for class, Autism, Murray writes that “In trying to explain or describe the experience of having autism, one of the most oft-repeated assertions is that it is like being an alien” (102). Although I was trying to portray a more general sense of disability rather than autism in particular, I feel that this does a good job explaining how a disabled person may feel in regards to being different. In my first two stanzas (I am calling them stanzas as opposed to verses because I believe the song reads as more of a poem), I was trying to represent some internal dialogue that a disabled person may have in response to an able-bodied person’s reaction to them. Wondering what they might be thinking about them, what they should say, whether they should be offended or hurt by the reaction, etc. The Kenny Fries poem, “Excavation,” that we read earlier in the semester was some of my inspiration for this part as it is a person reflecting on their own disability and recalling what society has called them. The line in my song that reads “Is there something that you’re looking for” relates to a line from a Bartlett poem we read for class: “to be crippled means to have access to people’s fear of their own eroding.” The narrator is reading into what able-bodied people are trying to get out of looking at them.
The third stanza was inspired by the in-class discussions that I mentioned earlier. I was showing a disabled person who is trying to recognize that others feel different and lonely, too, although in a way that is completely different than their experience. It is someone trying to be understanding of others despite the majority not understanding them.
My ideas for the fourth stanza came from a few different places. Although I was emphasizing the disconnect between able-bodied and disabled communities, I also wanted to include the first two lines to show that although a disabled person may feel disabled around others who are unlike them, their disability is normal to them and all they know. The lines “Am I really that different? Is there something that’s missing?” are meant to demonstrate the familiarity a disabled person has with their own bodies, and not feeling like there is something about them that needs to change. There is a line in Sheila Black’s poem “What You Mourn” that addresses how she would have felt about her disabled body had her legs never been straightened. It reads “…I would have nested in it, made it my home.” Later in the poem she says about her disabled body, “I loved it as you love your own country.”
The second half of this stanza refers to something we talked about in class—the exploitation of disabled people to “inspire” or “motivate” nondisabled people. I was trying to write that motivation doesn’t come from differentiating yourself from another person. Instead, it comes from the actions taken to be better. Instead of able-bodied people being motivated to do something with their lives because they saw a disabled person who did, they should take action to be accommodating to, understanding of, and educated about communities that are different than their own. This leads me to the next two lines of my song, “There could be some changes so I am not a stranger.” I wanted this to read as a sort of call-to-action towards able bodied people to take steps to understand the disabled community. The person singing my song is asking others to learn about them. All communities being educated on disability can increase familiarity and lessen the disconnect. That’s what could happen if, as Murray writes, “the alien and the human are not held apart but actually inform each other” (103).
The final stanza has the most meaning to me personally. One of my and my college friends’ favorite things to do was stay up late and play the game Taboo. We liked to bake cakes, get groceries together, and listen to silly music. I included these things because, to the majority, they are considered “normal” things to do. However, I wanted to emphasize that “normal” or “typical” activities like these are not limited to only able-bodied people. I wanted to emphasize that the disabled community is not different in their enjoyment of simple things like games and music. I think this stanza was significant for the song to demonstrate the importance of recognizing both the differences of able-bodied and disabled communities along with the things that make us the same. The final line is the narrator of the song wanting others to recognize what they want from them: to make efforts to understand them and learn about their community.
Lyrics:
I don’t what I should say
When people turn and look my way
Is there something that you can’t ignore or something that you’re looking for
It feels rude when you ignore me
But when you smile is it pity
When you stare what are thinking
if I feel mad then that seems petty but I do, I do
But I don’t know what I expect from you
There are things that I can try
When people stare or people smile
Cause I know others feel alone
But there are some who’ll never know
Am I really that different
Is there something that’s missing
Cause
Motivation inspiration they don’t come from separating me and you, oh you
Those things will come from what you do
But there could be some changes
So I am not a stranger
Cause there’s birthdays and making cakes and movies nights and grocery dates and music we should probably hate and finding things to celebrate and sometimes staying up too late and playing games like taboo
And those are things that I expect from you
