{"id":2128,"date":"2020-04-27T22:12:54","date_gmt":"2020-04-27T22:12:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/?p=2128"},"modified":"2020-04-27T22:12:54","modified_gmt":"2020-04-27T22:12:54","slug":"major-paper-project-by-kellie-bowman-murphys-law","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/uncategorized\/major-paper-project-by-kellie-bowman-murphys-law\/","title":{"rendered":"Major Paper\/Project by Kellie Bowman, “Murphy’s Law”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Murphy\u2019s Law<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The last thing I could remember was opening the door to the room my team and I were getting ready to raid and Lake screaming at everyone behind me to fall back. After that, there was a giant explosion; everything faded to black. Five days later, I woke up in a hospital bed in Germany.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I opened my eyes. My vision was extremely blurry and was for about an hour. I had a pounding headache that was ten times as worse as the one I woke up with the morning after my 21st birthday. Even moving my eyes hurt like an absolute bitch, but I managed to look at the nurse standing next to my bed looking at my IV and writing things down on a clipboard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cExcuse me, ma\u2019hm..\u201d my throat was extremely dry and each word that came out felt like glass in my throat. \u201cWhere am I?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She looked at me and smiled. \u201cGood afternoon Mr. Murphy. You are at Rose Barracks Army base in Vilseck Germany. I\u2019ll go and page Dr. Lamkin. I\u2019m sure you have a lot of questions.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought to myself, You\u2019re damn right I do, like what the hell happened to me in Iraq? I looked down at myself and both of my arms were gone. Just what was left of them wrapped in bandage and casts around both of my legs. My heart dropped to my ass.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just then, who I guessed was Dr. Lamkin walked into the room. \u201cHello Mr. Murphy. I am Dr. George Lamkin, I\u2019m the surgeon who operated on you when you arrived here from Baghdad. How are you feeling right now?\u00a0 We thought you might be out for a little while longer, but you are a fighter. We were blown away by how well you did in surgery.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, I appreciate that Doc, but I\u2019m not so much concerned with how I did in surgery, more so with the fact that I don\u2019t have my damn arms anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRight. Mr. Murphy, while on your mission in Baghdad, you encountered an improvised explosive device. It is to my understanding it happened right when the door was opened to an enemy house, seconds before the raid you were supposed to carry out. There was not much we could do about your arms besides amputate both of them. I\u2019m so sorry Mr. Murphy, I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but you are a very lucky man to be sitting here talking with me. The IED you came into contact with was about 1\/4th the size of the normal ones. You will have very minimal scarring on your face as well as a concussion, but you will make a full recovery from that and I expect your legs to be fully healed in about 7 weeks. As for your arms, you will receive physical therapy for about 12 months as well as being fitted for prosthetic arms in the coming weeks.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stopped listening after \u2018\u2026there was nothing we could do besides amputate both of them\u2019. \u201cWhere\u2019s my fiance?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, a Melissa Chapman? She was here a few hours ago, I was talking to her about what the coming months hold. She arrived here about 15 hours after you did.\u201d He said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was more than relieved to hear that Mel was here.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you have any questions for me Mr. Murphy?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo doc, I think that about does it.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry again about what happened to you, but I and so many others commend you on your service to the country. I will send a nurse up in a little while to check on you and Ms. Chapman.\u201d He walked out of the room.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t want to believe what happened to me. Not only because I wasn\u2019t really interested in living a life without arms, but because I knew that everything was about to change. I was probably going to get discharged from the army, which meant no recruitment orders for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mel told me before I left for Iraq that she wasn\u2019t going to marry me unless I got out of infantry and into paper pushing. She didn\u2019t want to have to live through deployments every two years and I didn\u2019t blame her. So I put in a request to get my orders changed from being on the line to go be a recruiter. The job was waiting for me whenever I got back from deployment, but being that I don\u2019t have any damn arms, they\u2019re probably going to give me my purple heart and tell me to get the hell out\u2026 In the nicest way possible.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I fell asleep right after Lamkin left, and didn\u2019t wake again until Mel came back.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I opened my eyes, pain shooting left and right in my head. \u201cHey girl, I see you hopped right on that damn plane as soon as you heard something was wrong, huh?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mel turned around \u201cBenjamin Harris Murphy, you had me and half the town worried to death that they\u2019d be bringing you back in a coffin.\u201d She was choking up. \u201cHow are you feeling? Lots of pain? I\u2019m glad you\u2019re awake, I missed the hell out of you\u201d Full blown tears at this point.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNow don\u2019t you go crying on me now. I may not have my arms anymore, but I came back in one piece didn\u2019t I?\u2026 Kind of.\u201d I forced a laugh. I knew that if I showed that I wasn\u2019t actually as worried I really was, she would stay calm.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBenny, what are we gonna do with you.\u201d She came over to the bed, touched my face. I wished so bad I could touch back but I couldn\u2019t. And I guess I never would be able to again.I would be getting prosthetic arms, but they will never be the same as my actual arms. I felt like hurling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next week was spent figuring out what the hell was going to happen to me in the next few months. I was getting all kinds of phone calls from my parents. I decided that since I wasn\u2019t going to get that recruiting job that it would be best for me, Mel and my parents that we would go stay with them for a while. At least until I can figure out what will happen after I get discharged. They live down in Texas, a little bit outside of San Antonio and I was told that there was a Veterans Affairs hospital down there where I could get my physical therapy done and get fitted for those arms. With the way that doc was describing them, they sounded more like robotic pieces and less like arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat are you gonna do about work?\u201d I asked Mel. She works as an elementary school teacher on base.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about that, I got it all worked out. I gotta go back to Fayetteville in a couple weeks though to take care of some other things, but they were really understanding about it all.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s really great to hear,\u201d I said. \u201cListen, I know that going back to live with my parents isn\u2019t really ideal for the both of us, but the hospital down there has some great doctors that are gonna get me feeling as good as new, also Mama and Dad want to spend some time with me being that I almost just died.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh Benny, please you don\u2019t have to explain anything to me. I completely understand the decision you made, and I stand by it one hundred percent. I love you and I\u2019m coming with you no matter what.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I smiled and kissed her. It felt good to have someone like her supporting me through this.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t tell Mel because I don\u2019t want to freak her out, but I keep having nightmares about the day I lost my arms. I always wake up in a cold sweat right after the explosion happens. I don\u2019t really enjoy reliving that every night, so I\u2019ve been fighting going to sleep lately. It gets difficult with the pain medication that I\u2019m constantly on, and it leaves me exhausted all day, and that just tacks on more to the list of things that are fucked up with my body.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It took two weeks for me to be able to travel. It was a real pain in the ass to have to just sit in the hospital and not do anything except feel sorry for myself. But we finally left and I saw outside for the first time in what felt like years.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were boarding the flight and I could not help but feel like everyone in the airport was staring at me. The armless dude in the wheelchair being pushed by his girlfriend was what I felt like, and was what I was. I felt like everyone was pitying me, but that is the last thing I wanted from anyone, was pity. I didn\u2019t deserve it. I was the one who decided to join the army, to become an infantryman, to ask to become a team leader for the deployment\u2026 and in becoming team leader, I was the one who decided to go first through that damn door loaded with an explosive.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t deserve pity. I deserved to lose my arms.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We arrived in San Antonio. Mama and dad picked us up from the airport and Mama left her arms around me for what felt like 2 hours before loading the car up to go back home. \u201cOh my Benny, my poor Benny\u2026\u201d She said with tears streaming down her face. \u201cWe\u2019re so glad to have you back here, son.\u201d Dad was choked up. I had never even seen him cry before, so I knew he was feeling something awfully thankful that I made it back alive.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stephen and Kathy Murphy are some of the best parents a kid could ask for. They supported me in all that I ever did; sports, school, my relationship with Mel, and even enlisting. I was scared to death to tell them I had actually done it, but when I did, dad shook my hand and mom hugged me so tight, while telling me \u201cYou better come back to me Benny. Don\u2019t make me regret being okay with this.\u201d I think now she regrets being okay with it. And in a way, so do I.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I started physical therapy about a month after we got to San Antonio. There was a whole healing process with the nubs- or residual limb I guess is the technical term for them-that were once my arms with cream and pre physical therapy-therapy. Pretty gnarly stuff if you ask me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I walked into the VA hospital feeling like shit. I didn\u2019t wanna be there, but I knew that I had to if I ever wanted to lead a somewhat normal life.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I walked up to the receptionist to check in. Mel was with me for what she called \u201cemotional support\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHi, uh I\u2019m here to check in for an appointment I have with Dr. Lori Geist.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The receptionist looked up at me. \u201cAlrighty sir, what\u2019s your name?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBenjamin Murphy.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She typed something on the computer. \u201cOkay Mr. Murphy, if you could just take a seat in the waiting area, a nurse will come get you in a few minutes.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mel and I went to sit down.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow are you feeling? Nervous?\u201d She asked.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, I just want this to be over with.\u201d I said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She scoffed a bit. \u201cBabe, it\u2019s only your first day. This is going to help you, aren\u2019t you excited about that?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would hardly use that word, \u2018excited\u2019 in this situation. I don\u2019t think Mel really understood how I was feeling about everything that has happened. Explaining it was exhausting, thinking about it was exhausting, talking about it was exhausting. I was frustrated with myself. Why couldn\u2019t I just have done something normal, like go to college, or vocational school or something? But that wasn\u2019t going to be enough for me, I just had to be the most badass person that came out of Texas.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMurphy?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s me. You\u2019ll be back at three?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mel kissed and hugged me. \u201cOf course.\u201d She paused. \u201cYou\u2019re gonna be okay Benny, we\u2019ll get through this together\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I smiled. A forced smile, but I knew that if I didn\u2019t force-smile my way through this, it would just be harder for everybody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRight this way Mr. Murphy.\u201d A nurse walked me to the back offices and we passed small gyms with a few people doing their own physical therapy. I bet none of them have to deal with a double arm amputation.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We walked into a room with medicine balls, weights, the whole physical therapy nine yards. \u201cDr. Geist will be a few minutes. Go ahead and take a seat.\u201d She said and walked out of the room. I felt a buzz in my pocket. It was my phone, but being armless, I couldn\u2019t exactly check to see who was calling me. I heaved a huge sigh and waited, looking at the hands on the clock tick.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few minutes later, an older woman came into the room. She had purple rimmed glasses. She looked as if she would tell you that Austin was the best city to live in Texas because it\u2019s the only blue votin\u2019 city within a 50 mile radius.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBenjamin Murphy, my newest patient.\u201d she looked at me and smiled. \u201cHow are you doing today Benjamin? Is it okay if I call you that? I\u2019m more of a first name basis kinda gal myself.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy friends call me Benny, but whatever suits you, suits me right back.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She giggled. \u201cBenny it is. How are you doing? Any thoughts coming into your first PT session?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you want the honest answer, or the one I should probably say instead?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell Benny, if I didn\u2019t care to know the honest answer, I wouldn\u2019t have asked you now would I have?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I looked at her. I didn\u2019t want to offend her but if she wanted the honest answer then I was gonna give it to her. \u201cWell Dr. Geist, I don\u2019t really care to be here right now. I was told that this would take upwards of a year, and I don\u2019t want to spend the next year of my life trying to work towards something that is supposed to feel normal, but will never actually be normal.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She was sitting on her chair, listening to me talk. I could tell that she was actually interested in what I was saying because she only looked at me while I talked the entire time.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBenny, if the process of getting your arms amputated and the rehabilitation process were an easy thing, everyone would go do dangerous things such as setting off fireworks without a professional present or something of that nature. Now, I\u2019m not going to lie to you because you deserve the truth; this is going to be a very difficult process for you. It will be frustrating, stress inducing, and you will want to quit more than one time, I can almost guarantee that. And you\u2019re right, even in the end when all of this is over, it will never be like how your life was before your amputations. But this isn\u2019t a matter of trying to get back to that old life, it\u2019s a matter of trying to adjust to your new life.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI appreciate that Dr. Geist, but I don\u2019t want your pity. I\u2019ve gotten enough of that over the last month.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease Benny, call me Lori. And I\u2019m not pitying you. The exact opposite in fact, I\u2019m trying to prepare you for what might be the hardest year of your life. But worry not, you have an excellent team of nurses and not to brag but with myself as your doctor, your new life will be one worth living.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My first physical therapy session included exercising both of the residual limbs, making them stronger, enough to support the weight of prosthesis. It may not sound tiring, but it was. I was extremely sore that night.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mel picked me up after my appointment was over. After we got home, I went to sleep until dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDinner\u2019s ready kids!\u201d mama yelled from the kitchen. She made my favorite dinner for the second time this week.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMeatloaf again Kathy?\u201d Dad asked her.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy yes, meatloaf again Stephen. It\u2019s your son\u2019s favorite.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMama you know I love your meatloaf, but dad is right. Meatloaf again?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSweetheart, just let me spoil you. Please?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlright, alright. Whatever you want to do for me, please. I shouldn\u2019t be complaining.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you very much.\u201d She kissed my head before she sat down to eat.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow was physical therapy, son?\u201d Dad asked.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, you know. It was fine. Nothing special. We just worked on strengthening my residual limbs for my prosthesis fitting.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you excited to get your arms back?\u201d Mama asked.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone kept using that word. \u2018Excited\u2019. I wasn\u2019t excited about anything. Why would I? Why would I be excited about getting fake arms? They aren\u2019t gonna be the same as normal arms, even after the year of rehab. But I sucked it up and told Mama that I was excited anyway.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After dinner and dishes were done, Mel and I went back to our room that we were staying in, which was my old room when I was a kid.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you happy to be getting back to work for a few days?\u201d I asked her. She flies back to Fayetteville tomorrow.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh yeah, I\u2019m happy to be getting back and seeing everyone but I really don\u2019t want to leave you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh don\u2019t you worry about me. Mama\u2019s gonna be taking good care of me while you\u2019re gone.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know, but still. I hate leaving you, you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell you\u2019ll be back right?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She was doing something on her laptop, so without looking at me she said \u201cOf course I will Benny. I\u2019ll be back next week.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood to hear.\u201d I kissed her on the cheek and turned over in bed. I was still pretty tired and sore from PT earlier. I fell asleep thinking about mine and Mel\u2019s wedding. It was gonna have to be rescheduled because of everything that\u2019s happened. I was still excited though, and I wanted more than ever for her to be by my side for the rest of our lives.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mama was helping me out while Mel was gone, taking me to therapy, helping me out with my showers, cooking for me; all the things that she did when I was a child. That\u2019s what I felt like. A child, depending on everyone else to do things that I could easily do for myself, but can\u2019t.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mama dropped me off at therapy the day before Mel got back from North Carolina. I missed the hell out of her and couldn\u2019t wait to see her. I was feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a couple weeks.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I walked into the VA hospital feeling better than I did during my previous appointments. \u201cWell good afternoon Lori, how are you doing today? And you better give me the honest answer.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lori laughed. \u201cWhy good afternoon to you too Benny. I am doing well, I went on a hike this morning, and my what a sight. Just beautiful. I\u2019m glad to be here doing what I do best, which is healing people like yourself. Are you ready for today\u2019s session? It\u2019s a big one.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am ready for today\u2019s session.\u201d I said.\u201dOh I know it, I got my prosthesis fitting next week.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIndeed you do. I am proud of you. It\u2019s been a short time that you\u2019ve been working on this, but you\u2019ve made progress. You should be proud of yourself.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I knew she was right, but I didn\u2019t really feel proud of myself. I still had months of therapy, and bringing in the prosthetic arms is gonna be a whole new can of worms.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the end of the session, Lori handed me a card.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI keep forgetting to give this to you, but today I finally remembered. This has been proven by many of my patients to be extremely helpful and comforting.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I looked at the card. \u2018Wounded Warriors Project- Changing The Lives Of Veterans\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this for?\u201d I asked. I knew WWP, but only the fundraising part of it. They had them on base all the time.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you call that number, they will put you in contact with a support group, people who have had experiences similar to yours.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI appreciate this, but I have all the help and comfort I need right at home.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI understand,\u201d she smiled. \u201cBut if you decide to change your mind, that number isn\u2019t going anywhere.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThanks Lori. Hey, I\u2019ll see you next appointment?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course Benny. Have a great weekend, and tell Mel I said hi.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWill do.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had gotten more and more comfortable with Lori with each appointment. It was kind of hard not to. She would hound me about a lot of different things, kind of like the aunt who would ask all sorts of questions about your life at the Thanksgiving family gathering each year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I walked out of the hospital and saw Mama waiting for me in her car. She looked at me and waved. I smiled at her. I wish she wouldn\u2019t wave at me because every time she does, I want to wave back but I can\u2019t.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey sweetheart, how was it?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh it was fine Mama. Same song, different tune.\u201d My phone started ringing. \u201cHey can you grab that for me? My phone is in my front pocket.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She got it out. I expected to see Mel calling but it was my good buddy Kyle Lake from back at base. \u201cOh yeah, answer that. I haven\u2019t talked to this guy in a couple weeks!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey Benny man, how ya doin bud? We miss you here!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh you know, I can\u2019t complain too much. Being armless is an absolute pain in my ass, but hey what are you gonna do. How\u2019s the sandbox treating everyone?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey man, it\u2019s going alright. Blevins took over as team leader after you left and it\u2019s not nearly the same as having you around, but we\u2019re adjusting. He\u2019s just an asshole sometimes, you know?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh I know.\u201d I laughed. Todd Blevins was always kissing ass to get to be team leader, but never kissed enough because right before deployment, Andrew Hill, the platoon sergeant called me in personally to tell me that he wanted me to be the bravo team leader in 1st squad for deployment.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey man, I know we haven\u2019t talked in a hot second, but I just thought you should know something.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah? What\u2019s up? You lose your arms too?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He paused. It was a long pause.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLake? You there man? I was just making a joke\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, yeah I am.\u201d He paused again. \u201cHey, is Melissa on base right now?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah she is, she\u2019s gotta finish up some work before she comes back here, why?\u201d I asked.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He sighed, \u201cListen, Swope said he saw Melissa leaving their barracks yesterday morning.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was confused. \u201cWhat do you mean? Is he sure it was her?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe said he was positive it was her. She left at like 6 in the morning with her purse. He was at the front desk pulling CQ duty.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat does that mean Benny?\u201d Mama asked.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey are you busy right now? I can call back later,\u201d said Lake.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t know exactly what to say. I had just found out my fiance and girlfriend of 4 years was more likely than not cheating on me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah man, call me back later. Hey stay safe out there.\u201d I managed to say finally.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFor sure dude. I\u2019ll call later. And hey, don\u2019t worry about it man, it\u2019s probably just a misunderstanding. I just wanted to let you know so you weren\u2019t blindsided with anything.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI appreciate that Lake. Call me tomorrow. Mel gets back tomorrow, I\u2019ll let you know what she says. It\u2019s probably just a misunderstanding.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlright brother, talk tomorrow.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hung up the phone. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on Benny? Is Melissa in trouble? What was she doing at the barracks?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, no one really goes into the barracks except the single dudes who live there and the occasional lady suitor. I don\u2019t know what business she had going in there.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh Benny, don\u2019t worry honey. She\u2019ll be back tomorrow and you\u2019ll be able to work all this out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know Mama.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t want to believe it, but I knew deep down that Mel had slept with someone else while she was in Fayetteville. I didn\u2019t know who, but I had a couple ideas. There was that piece of shit Seal who was always flirting with her for no damn reason at the parties we went to together. Right in front of me, he would do shit like that. I wanted to say something to him about it but Mel never let me, always saying how it was just a little bit of harmless flirting and that there was no reason why I should be getting so upset about it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me and Mama got back to the house.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you want for dinner darlin\u2019?\u201d she asked.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, I\u2019m not hungry right now. Thanks though, I just might nap for a little while.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t tell me something I\u2019m making meatloaf again!\u201d she said as I was heading upstairs to the bedroom. I sat on the bed. A minute after Mama came in and put my phone on the bedside table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHere sweetheart, I forgot to give this back to you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI appreciate it\u2026 Hey will you get Mel on the phone? I want to talk to her.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d She dialed and then put the phone back on the table. \u201cI\u2019m going to make dinner, I\u2019ll let you know when it\u2019s ready.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlright, sounds good Mama.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was ringing. Mel always answers my phone calls, especially nowadays.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHello?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t know what to say. I was angry, sad, disturbed and I felt betrayed.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think you should come back tomorrow,\u201d I said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBenny, what the hell are you talking about?\u201d she said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMelissa, you know what I\u2019m talking about.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She didn\u2019t say anything for a long time after that.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you find out?\u201d she said with staleness in her voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI got a call from someone who was told from the CQ desk that he saw you leaving the barracks at the crack of dawn yesterday.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She didn\u2019t say anything. \u201cLook, I don\u2019t know why you did it, and I could give a shit. Keep my stuff at your apartment, pawn the ring, I don\u2019t care. I\u2019ll come get it when I can actually use my arms again.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t let her respond to that, I just hung up the phone with my nose.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t know what to think. Was it because of me? Did I do something wrong? I mean, besides losing my arms I guess, I had been nothing but a good man to her for the past 4 years. Did she not love me anymore because of my arms? Or lack thereof. Whatever it was, she had no right to do that to me. After everything I\u2019ve been through and done for her. I was going to stop doing the job I loved simply because she asked me to; and she has so little regard for how I felt that she would just go fuck someone behind my back? Was I really that bad? I guess so. I was so pissed at everything that was going wrong, I wanted to punch something so I kicked the wall instead, which wasn\u2019t a great idea because my damn leg is still healing from when they were both busted. Pain was shooting up and down my legs for hours after.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next few weeks were hell. I couldn\u2019t bring myself to go to PT, I just didn\u2019t have the energy. I was supposed to have been fitted for both of my prosthesis about a week ago but I missed my appointment and was supposed to call and reschedule but hadn\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a knock at my door. I knew it was Mama wondering how I was doing or if I wanted something to eat. \u201cHey sweetheart do you need anything? I\u2019m making your dad some mac and cheese for lunch,\u201d she said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I rolled over and looked at her. \u201cNo Mama, I\u2019m okay. I\u2019m not hungry.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBenny, honey you haven\u2019t eaten at all day today.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know, I\u2019ll eat dinner. I promise\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlright honey\u2026 Your cell phone is downstairs, you have a couple of missed calls. You want me to bring it to you?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could only guess that it was Melissa calling me. I haven\u2019t talked to her since our last phone call. I didn\u2019t want to, there was no point in talking about anything. She did what she did for a reason. People don\u2019t sleep with other people if they love you. They just don\u2019t.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In case it wasn\u2019t her, I wanted to see who else was calling me so I told her that it would be really helpful if she brought me the phone.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlright yeah sweetheart, I\u2019ll be right back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She came back into the room, \u201cIt looks like you have a couple missed calls from Kyle Lake and Lori Geist.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wasn\u2019t surprised to hear that Lori called me. I hadn\u2019t been to PT in like a week and a half.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWill you dial Lori?\u201d she did and then set down the phone next to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll let you know when dinner is done honey,\u201d Mama said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThanks, I appreciate it.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The phone was ringing.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, well, well if it isn\u2019t Mr. Benny Murphy.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I laughed. \u201cHey Lori. How ya been?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell I\u2019d be better if I could see your smiling face right here at the hospital. You haven\u2019t been showing up for your appointments for the last week. The nurses and myself have been worried about you. You were supposed to get those prostheses last week.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t want to lie to her but I didn\u2019t want to have to explain to her that the woman I was supposed to marry slept with someone else.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know Lori, I\u2019m sorry, I\u2019ve been meaning to call and reschedule but it\u2019s been slipping my mind\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou must have a slippery mind then there. Benny, I don\u2019t want you to explain to me why you haven\u2019t been coming. You don\u2019t owe that to me, so I\u2019m not going to ask. But what I am going to do is urge you to think about maybe giving a call to the number I shared with you a few weeks back. Things are difficult for you right now, but sharing your experiences with others that have similar ones to yours will be beneficial. I know you know that.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t want to tell Lori that I knew that she was right, so instead, I told her that I would think about calling them.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh that\u2019s great Benny. I\u2019m glad to hear that you\u2019re going to do that. Just make an appearance, you never know, maybe you actually enjoy it and make some new friends.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She sounded like Mama did on my first day of lacrosse. Funny thing about my time playing lacrosse; I hated it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThanks Lori. I appreciate you reaching out. I\u2019ll call sometime tomorrow and reschedule my appointment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course. I hope to see you soon Benny\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou will Lori, don\u2019t worry.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She hung up the phone. Lori was a smart woman, so she knew there was definitely something going on with me. Something other than the obvious at least.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mama called me down for dinner. She had made a pot roast, but I wasn\u2019t the least bit hungry. I forced myself to finish what was on my plate though so my parents wouldn\u2019t worry about me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After dinner, Mama helped me with a shower. I took a look at myself in the mirror. I had lost a lot of muscle mass that I once had. It made me feel like shit. I just wanted to get into bed and pass out for a month.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That night I had one of the worst dreams I had yet. I dreamt that I was with Melissa and that I still had my arms. Everything was perfect and I was happy. Her and I were walking hand in hand down the street and she was looking at me and laughing and we were cuttin up a rug. Nothing like how my real life was.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I woke up in a cold sweat. I couldn\u2019t hold it in anymore and I let the tears just go. I cried for what felt like an hour. I didn\u2019t want to live like this anymore. I didn\u2019t want to wake up every morning and immediately want to go back to sleep. I wanted to get better. I wanted to stop hating life and everything about it. No more \u2018I\u2019m too tired to go to PT\u2019 or \u2018It\u2019s not worth it, I can just do it next week\u2019. This was bullshit. Tomorrow, things were going to change. I was going to actually call the hospital and reschedule all the appointments. I was also going to call the phone number that Lori gave me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I woke up before the sun rose, which was something that I hadn\u2019t done since I was back at Fort Bragg for physical training in the morning. I was still dependent on Mama for getting me dressed and all that so I went to their bedroom door and kicked it a little bit.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She came out rubbing her eyes. \u201cAre you alright Benny, what\u2019s going on?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s earlier than you\u2019re used to me waking up, but I just want to get some stuff done today and you know I always function better throughout the day if I get up early in the morning.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She smiled. \u201cOk, yeah honey, give me a second. I just need to get my slippers.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThanks Mama.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She got me dressed for the day and then we went downstairs for breakfast.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nice to see you up and moving around Benny,\u201d she said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I smiled at her. \u201cThank you. It feels good. Hey, I\u2019m gonna take a walk around the neighborhood. I think it\u2019ll do me some good. But when I get back I\u2019m gonna need to make some phone calls. You\u2019ll be around?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course honey.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThanks Mama.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She made up some of her grits and toast for me. We finished up breakfast and I made my way outside.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I knew being outside was going to be good. Fresh air in my lungs was something that I missed after being inside for about a week straight. That warm sun was giving me a feeling that I hadn\u2019t felt in a while: contentedness. Man, I should\u2019ve done this in the first place. I guess I needed to go through the shitter to see that light at the end of the tunnel. Or however that damn saying goes. I don\u2019t know. It\u2019s been a hell of a couple of months for me, and today was the first time that I knew that getting up before the sun came up was going to be worth it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I got back to the house after my walk. The first thing I had Mama do was call up the hospital. I rescheduled my prostheses fittings for next week. That was something that needed to happen as soon as possible. I wanted to feel independent again, or at least get on the right track to be able to. I wanted to stop relying on my parents so much.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next thing was to call the WWP number.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHi thank you for calling the Wounded Warriors Project where we help change the lives of veterans every day\u2026\u201d It went on to list what numbers you should press to be connected with what part of the organization you would like to speak with. \u201c. . .Health and wellbeing please press 4\u2026\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the one,\u201d I told Mama.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spoke with a helpful woman who gave me an address of where a support group would be getting together tomorrow.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThanks so much for your help ma\u2019hm, have a great day.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course, give us a call anytime.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think both Mama and Dad were relieved to see me out and about of bed because they both kept smiling at me throughout the day.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlright Mr. and Mrs. Smiley, what are yall so happy about?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dad took me by the shoulder, \u201cSon this is the first time in about 2 weeks that you\u2019ve been out of bed for longer than an hour. We\u2019ve been worried about you, that\u2019s all.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know you guys have been worried, and I hate to do that to y\u2019all. Lately life\u2019s been kicking my ass\u2026 excuse my language.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo excuse needed Benny. You\u2019ve been through a lot lately, what with everything that\u2019s going on with Melissa\u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mama scolded Dad, telling him he shouldn\u2019t be bringing her up in front of me.
\u201cNo Mama, it\u2019s okay. I guess I haven\u2019t talked about it much with you guys. Her and I are obviously broken up. She decided that I wasn\u2019t the person for her, and you know what. That\u2019s fine. That\u2019s her choice and there\u2019s not really anything that I can do about that. She\u2019ll just have to spend the rest of her life knowing that she\u2019s the one who cheated.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat right there is the best form of revenge,\u201d Dad said.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour dad is right, sweetheart anyone would be lucky to be with you. You remember that now, you hear me?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes ma\u2019am, I will.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We sat around, ate lunch and talked for hours. It felt great to talk with them like that. These are the people who I know for a fact care about me and always will. We talked about what I might do after physical therapy and what would happen when I got prostheses if I would stay with them or maybe get my own place. I wasn\u2019t sure what the timeline looked like for that, but I knew that as soon as I could I was going to want my own place.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you ready for your support group tomorrow? I think it\u2019ll be good for you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am ready. Lori was telling me that some of her other patients enjoyed it.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s good. We\u2019re happy for you,\u201d Dad said to me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThanks Dad\u201d I smiled at him.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That next day Mama got me ready for the support group. We made our way over to the church it was being held at.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be waiting right here for you in an hour,\u201d she said as she got out of the car to open the door for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI appreciate it, thanks Mama. I\u2019ll see you then,\u201d I said, giving her a kiss on the head while she was hugging me. That was my way of reciprocating a hug until I could get my prostheses.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I walked into the church and followed the signs that said \u201cWWP SUPPORT GROUP THIS WAY\u201d. I came to a room with chairs arranged in a circle. There were a myriad of different injuries there. Double amputated legs, amputated arms, there was even a guy who didn\u2019t have any ears with a sign language interpreter with him. All of these people knew what I was going through. At least the loss-of-limb part of it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I took a seat next to a guy with a prosthetic arm. He looked over at me as soon as I sat down. \u201cHey man, I\u2019ve never seen you here before. You new?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah I am. First time.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell I would shake your arm, but looks like they haven\u2019t given you your damn arms yet, now have they?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I laughed. \u201cI actually got them taken away on the basis of bad behavior.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He laughed. \u201cGood shit man, the name\u2019s Brandon. Been stuck with old Donna here for about a year now,\u201d he said, motioning toward his prosthesis.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWow, it\u2019s got a name and everything.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh yeah dude. I mean everyone here has a name for their bionic limb.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was really a relief to hear them being comical about their situation. It gave me the confidence to joke about mine too; in a way where we could all laugh.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBrandon, it\u2019s a pleasure to meet ya. I\u2019m Benjamin, but my friends call me Benny.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLike the Elton John song? You know, \u2018Benny and The Jets\u2019?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I let out a big hearty laugh, the kind that came from your stomach. \u201cMan, I haven\u2019t heard that shit since I first got to my unit. It\u2019s just a nickname I picked up when I was younger. But yeah I guess like the Elton John song.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who led the group came into the room, \u201cAlright guys, ready to get started today? Let\u2019s start with the newbies. Introduce yourself, when you served, and how you feel right now.\u201d He looked right at me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay, I guess I\u2019ll start. My name is Benjamin Murphy. I served from \u201802 to about 3 months ago when I got honorably discharged due to uh\u2026\u201d I said looking down at my residual limbs. Some of the guys laughed. \u201cAnd how I feel huh? Well, I guess I\u2019ve been feeling really sorry for myself lately. I lost my arms and thought to myself: wow this is it, isn\u2019t it? I had a fiance who I had been with for a while, but I came to realize that she really wasn\u2019t about the whole \u2018in sickness and in health thing\u2019. After that I just felt like shit, I didn\u2019t get out of bed for a good two weeks.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWow, Benny I\u2019m really sorry to hear that man. We\u2019re all really glad to see you here today. What made you wanna come out and talk with us?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, my physical therapist got me in contact with the Wounded Warrior Project people who take care of things like this. At first, I didn\u2019t really wanna come here if I\u2019m being honest. But I knew she would\u2019ve kicked my ass if I didn\u2019t at least show face, so I guess she\u2019s the one that made me want to come here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell your physical therapist sounds like a real hard ass,\u201d he laughed. \u201cBenny, I\u2019m glad to meet you man, I\u2019m Cedric and I\u2019ve been working with some of these guys for quite some time now. If you decide to come back you\u2019ll see that we\u2019re just like your normal \u2018hooah\u2019 kind of guys\u2026 we just weigh a lot less.\u201d We all laughed.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The session ended and I walked out of that room feeling like I had known half of those guys for years.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey Benny, wait up man!\u201d Brandon said jogging after me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I turned around. \u201cLemme give you this, it\u2019s my phone number. Forgive me if I\u2019m wrong but you looked like you had some fun in there?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah man, that was really great. All those guys are my kinda guys.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou fit in perfectly. I don\u2019t know if you got anything going on right now, but some of the other guys and myself go grab beers after every session. You wanna tag along?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh man, that sounds great. But I got my mother waiting for me outside. But I think I\u2019m gonna be coming back. How about then?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFor sure man, hey we\u2019ll see you next week then.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah dude, see you then\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I walked out of the church feeling like I had been reborn. I had felt so isolated for so long and being with those guys was really something else.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mama was waiting for me in the car, just like she said she would be. \u201cHey darlin\u2019, how was it? Did you have fun? Make any new friends?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I kissed her on the forehead, \u201cYeah Mama, I had fun.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She smiled, \u201cThat\u2019s so great to hear Benny.\u201d We got into the car. \u201cWhat are you feelin\u2019 for dinner?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u201cWell now that you mention dinner, I think I\u2019m craving some of your meatloaf.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course dear! Oh I\u2019m glad to hear you say that you\u2019re craving food. You know I love cooking for you\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I knew it and I appreciated the hell out of her for that. Her and Dad have been so damn helpful to me the last couple months, I didn\u2019t even know how to articulate how thankful I was for them. I decided that once I could at least use my phone by myself I would arrange to do something for them; dinner, flowers. At least something to let them know that I love them and what they\u2019ve done for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next month or so was full of physical therapy. My first appointment back after I found out Melissa cheated on me was the prosthetics fitting. I was thrilled about getting those, because once they were on, it was just a matter of actually being strong enough to use them. Lori told me that if I kept busting my ass, I could get PT done in less than eight months. Eight became my lucky number after that.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My first WWP session back after getting my prostheses, or bionic limbs- as Brandon likes to call them- there were a couple new faces, so after they introduced themselves Cedric looked and said \u201cBenny, would you like to introduce us to your new friends?\u201d I laughed. \u201cOh yeah, uh everyone, I would like y\u2019all to meet the jets.\u201d The whole room busted out in a roar. There was even applause.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe jets, it\u2019s a pleasure to have you here with us today,\u201d Cedric said mid laugh.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If there was one thing I learned about losing my arms it was that I needed to actually want to get back to what Lori called my \u2018new normal\u2019. There was no use in going back to the old one, because that Benny doesn\u2019t exist anymore. Feeling sorry for myself was the last thing I needed to do because it was just going to create the same daily routine of waking up and saying \u201cWhat\u2019s the use?\u201dAfter I discovered the use and what it could do for me,\u00a0 I really owed it to Lori for showing me that there was nowhere that I could get in this process if I didn\u2019t try.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s funny, my recruiter made a joke about my last name when I first showed up to the recruiting office.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh man, you sure you wanna join the military with the last name Murphy?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou know, Murphy\u2019s Law?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He could tell I wasn\u2019t following. \u201cMurphy\u2019s law states that everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh,\u201d I forced a laugh, because I\u2019m not going to lie, that scared the shit out of me. I wanted to serve but I never really thought about what the consequences would be. I knew that I was more than likely going to be deployed in the first year I was in the army, what with everything going on with the Middle East. But I thought I was invincible. In a way, that recruiter was right. Everything that could\u2019ve gone wrong in my life, did. I lost my arms due to a bomb, my girlfriend that I was due to marry cheated on me with some shit bag, and I hit rock bottom. But even when everything that could\u2019ve gone wrong, did go wrong; the people around me didn\u2019t allow me to stay in that rock bottom. Even as comfortable as it was, I knew I didn\u2019t belong there.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I eventually finished physical therapy and everything sort of fell into place after that. After both of my prostheses were fully functioning, I moved out of my parents into my own place with some of the guys from the WWP group, I even started volunteering for them. I knew I was going to do a good thing for guys who were in a position that I was in not too long ago. And I finally made that dinner for my parents. I even got flowers for Mama.\u00a0
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Murphy\u2019s Law\u00a0 The last thing I could remember was opening the door to the room my team and I were getting ready to raid and Lake screaming at everyone behind me to fall back. After that, there was a giant explosion; everything faded to black. Five days later, I woke up in a hospital bed … Continue reading “Major Paper\/Project by Kellie Bowman, “Murphy’s Law””<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":122,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pcJhts-yk","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/122"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2128"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2128\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2129,"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2128\/revisions\/2129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dislit2020.chris-foss.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}