Daniel Hur<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dr. Foss<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ENGL 384<\/p>\n\n\n\n
19 April 2020<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPenelo! Penelo!\u201d cried Mrs. Brennan; I tried focusing on the problem on the board. However, no matter how hard I tried, my brain would wander. \u201cPenelo!\u201d cried Mrs. Brennan even louder. Her shouts felt like noise in my ear. My entire brain felt like it was about to burst. A couple of my classmates tried to stifle back some laughs. I looked at the ever-so-furious face of Mrs. Fredericks. Her face was burning with so much anger and animosity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPenelo! Could you please solve the division problem on the board,\u201d Mrs. Brennan tried to say in a calm and soothing voice. I shook with fear. Division. I think I knew what kind of necessary equations were necessary in order to solve the problem. Division. It seemed so familiar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My breath shortened. A couple of my classmates started to laugh and I didn\u2019t know what was going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPenelo, I\u2019d like a word with you before you leave for class today,\u201d she said. I hung my head in utter disappointment. The bell rung. The rest of the kids started to exit out of the building except for me. Mrs. Brennan looked disapprovingly of me. \u201cPenelo, I know that you can do so much better than how you are doing right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI know,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI know the concussion was really bad for you, but you just can\u2019t keep going like this. Something needs to change, and I think it is about time that you went to see the school therapist.\u201d I raised my head a little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA therapist.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, now here is the card. It\u2019s about time that you got some help for one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I was making my way to the bus, I couldn\u2019t help but look down at the card my teacher had given me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMrs. Leslie Brushae. Phone#: 571-218-9898. Room 218.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, Penelo! You did pretty good back there at Math class.\u201d I turned to see Rachel pointing at me with a group of other girls. At one point during the hockey season, they had all been my fellow teammates. Now they were making fun of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey! Penelo, I thought at one point you were probably the smartest girl in the class! What happened?\u201d another student mocked. I closed my eyes as I started to board the bus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, good luck trying to live the rest of your life as a hobbo!\u201d another student said. I covered my ears. It was true. I used to be so good at Math, but ever since the concussion, it all changed. Everything about me changed, and now I had no choice but to live with this new reality.\u00a0 If only I hadn\u2019t slid into the goal to catch the puck. I shut my eyes even harder as the memories started to resurface. Me helplessly on the ground, barely conscious while several of my teammates asked if I was ok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m home!\u201d I cried out in the loudest voice possible. As soon as I saw my parents come running forward, I smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHello, honey, how have you been doing? How was school?\u201d my mother asked. My smile started to disappear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, uhhh\u2026I got kind of stuck on a math problem,\u201d I began. Seeing no other way out of this, I gave the card that my teacher had given me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s this? A psychologist?\u201d my mother asked as she and my father started looking on. I shifted from one foot to the next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHoney, has school really been going ok?\u201d my dad asked. I breathed a huge sigh as if I had just gotten a large weight off my chest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, honey, I don\u2019t think she can just live like that forever,\u201d my mother said. \u201cShe needs professional help.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes, but do you think all this is really necessary?\u201d asked my father. \u201cI mean, all I\u2019ve ever wanted her to be was just a normal girl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A normal girl. For some reason that felt like it was farther away than ever. I crawled into my room and started staring at the wall. Get up, the inner voice inside of me started to say. I stirred inside my bed, wanting nothing more than to make myself go to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It was just a little hit on the head, I thought to myself. Just a small hit and that was all that it needed for me to be in a ruined state. On the left side of my room were my hockey shoes that I had used to skate around on the ice. Walking over to the side of the room, I picked it up, my hand trembling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As I walked into the room, I couldn\u2019t help but wonder if I was making a mistake as I went through those doors. What was going to happen to me? Stop worrying, I told myself. I took a deep breath as I walked into the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHello there!\u201d I looked up to see a fairly middle-aged woman sitting in front of a desk and typing on a computer. \u201cMy name is Dr. Brushae!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHi, I\u2019m Penelo,\u201d I said. The woman started to leave the computer. She had her hair tied back in a bun. Thought her skin looked old and frail\u2014as if she was a woman that was starting to peek at her age\u2014there was a hint of joy inside of her that seemed to counteract against her age. \u201cMrs. Brennan has told me all about you.\u201d I stood in her office door, almost as if I was afraid to go up to her. \u201cIt\u2019s ok, now tell me. Tell me whatever is going on within your mind. How are you?\u201d My entire head was spinning, but I wasn\u2019t just going to break down in tears in front of her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m good,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIs that true?\u201d she asked. I noticed she was jotting down notes inside of her notebook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes,\u201d I replied. She leaned forward. Her eyes focused very hard into mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPenelo, you can tell me anything you want. Mrs. Brennan may have told me some things about you, but I assure you that I don\u2019t believe in any of them.\u201d My body stopped tensing and I began to relax.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just ever since I got the concussion, I just felt like my entire life just went to shambles,\u201d I said. She looked at me and nodded her head. Her face looked like it was filled with compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure it was really hard for you; the fact that you couldn\u2019t quite play anymore,\u201d she said. I nodded my head. My breathing began to slow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI can tell that you suffer from a lot of anxiety,\u201d the doctor said. We talked for hours. Finally, she took out an object from her pocket. \u201cI\u2019m thinking about prescribing you on Serotonin medicine. They are anti-depressants that might help you, but I also wanted to give you this.\u201d She handed me the object that she took out. It was shaped like a bell that hung from a cut ribbon. \u201cThis is my lucky charm, and I am lending it to you. I usually like to give my patients trinkets that I used to have when I was a child. I am lending this to you.\u201d As soon as it fell in the palm of my hands, I could feel the weight of the charm, which calmed me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThank you,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo how was your meeting with the school therapist?\u201d asked my mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt was good,\u201d I said. \u201cShe gave me this.\u201d I put down the bell in front of my mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, that\u2019s kind of\u2026cute,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, yeah, and she also gave me some serotonin as medicine for my mental illness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSero-tonin,\u201d my mom stammered as she struggled to put the word together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYeah, it\u2019s medicine to help with my mental illness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo, how has the Serotonin been helping you?\u201d asked the doctor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s been going really well,\u201d I said. \u201cAnd thank you for being willing to hand over your lucky charm over to me.\u201d The doctor smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, I\u2019m glad that you have been able to find yourself,\u201d the doctor said. \u201cSo could you please try and reiterate the accident that you had on the ice.\u201d I thought back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI was skating as the goal keeper for my team. I paid very close attention to the puck,\u201d I began. My voice began to quiver. The doctor took notes. \u201cAs I was trying to keep track of the puck, I lost my footing. Before I knew it, the puck was zooming towards the goal and I was on the ground.\u201d My voice continued to quiver.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo need to be sad,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know, I know, but for some reason no matter how hard I try I find it really hard for me to keep it together whenever I talk about this. I let the team down, and it was all for nothing.\u201d I could still see Rachel\u2019s face glaring at me with anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, Penelo,\u201d my doctor said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSo, Penelo, can you solve this division problem?\u201d my teacher asked. I clutched the lucky charm. Make sure to clutch the charm when you are nervous<\/em>, I recalled the doctor telling me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c24,\u201d I said. Ms. Brennan looked shocked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes, that is the correct answer. Very good,\u201d she said. The rest of the class was silent. I felt proud of what I had managed to accomplish, happy with the fact that I had solved the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As I returned home from school, I couldn\u2019t help but feel prouder of today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMom, Dad, I\u2019m home!\u201d I cried. My parents came running in. I embraced them with a hug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoney! So nice to see that you are a bit happier,\u201d Mom said, thought underneath the happiness I could sense there was a bit of uncertainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes, I agree!\u201d said Dad. \u201cIt certainly helped you a lot when you had started to see the school psychologist.\u201d Despite the fact that I was feeling overjoyed by the fact that I was being embraced with love by my parents, I couldn\u2019t help but feel like they sensed something was wrong with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHoney, I\u2019m not sure if this is ok for her. Some of the things that I hear about the school doctor sound a little bit suspicious and up in the air to me,\u201d my mom said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think you\u2019re worrying too much. She seems to have some major improvements ever since she first started meeting the doctor,\u201d my dad replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know. I hear there is a board of parents that will be coming forward to complain about some of her methods.\u201d I froze in fear, but I realized there was nothing I could do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Dr. Bruchae sat very quietly at the desk\u2014the only difference being that now she no longer had another student that she was trying to talk to. Now she had several parents that had come to complain of her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDr. Brushae, we understand that you have done your very best in terms of trying to take care of the students at the school, but may us parents interject with some complaints that we have of you,\u201d said another man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMy son came home one day and brought a little trinket with him that is called a lucky charm,\u201d said one mom. \u201cI couldn\u2019t help but feel that you were forcing some kind of spirituality on him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, that wasn\u2019t the case at all,\u201d Dr. Brushae said. \u201cAll that I really wanted was to send him some kind of encouragement. Something that will get him up more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnother thing, Dr. Brushae,\u201d said another parent almost as if he hadn\u2019t heard what she had just said. \u201cYou seem to have a lot of heavy reliance on medication as a method to cure your patients. Don\u2019t you think that it is a little far-fetched to keep feeding your students meds? I mean, what about the side-effects?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI have that all under control,\u201d she began. Then she made contact with Penelo\u2019s parents. Her speech stopped dead in its tracks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd now I have just shown you how to solve these problems,\u201d I said as soon as she finished doing the equations on the board. Ms. Brenna clapped her hands in excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s excellent Penelo!\u201d cried Ms. Brenna. I walked back to my desk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cExcuse me, but Dr. Brushae wants to have a word with Penelo.\u201d I walked out of the hallways to see Dr. Brushae. She had a smile on her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCongratulations!\u201d she said when I told her about the math problems; however, soon she started to tremble. Her voice began quivering as if she was crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPenelo, I just wanted to tell you that I am so proud of what you managed to accomplish,\u201d she said. \u201cBut I wanted to let you know that I will be leaving this school in hopes of finding something that is more suitable to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThere were so many complaints,\u201d she said, wiping away some tears. \u201cI might have to either transfer somewhere else or re-evaluate my style of counseling.\u201d I stood there in shock. \u201cJust remember to stay strong and keep the lucky charm\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n As I rode home that day, my entire head felt like it was spinning. It seemed like so many things just happened all at once. For some reason, I almost felt like Dr. Brushae had betrayed me, and yet, I couldn\u2019t figure out a legitimate reason to get angry about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I took out the lucky charm that Dr. Brushae had given me long ago. The ribbon that was attached to the top of the bell had been lost. Now all that was left was a plain golden bell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I clutched the bell inside my pocket, thanking Dr. Brushae for everything that she had done for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHey, Penelo!\u201d I turned around to see Rachel trying to talk to me. \u201cDo you wanna sit with me?\u201d she asked. Initially I looked really apprehensive, but eventually I ran over and sat with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt feels like awhile since the last time I talked to you,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s been awhile since the last time I\u2019d talked to you, I thought back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Word count: 2250<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI pledge that I had no unauthorized help on this assignment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n -Daniel<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Daniel Hur Dr. Foss ENGL 384 19 April 2020 \u201cPenelo! Penelo!\u201d cried Mrs. Brennan; I tried focusing on the problem on the board. However, no matter how hard I tried, my brain would wander. \u201cPenelo!\u201d cried Mrs. Brennan even louder. Her shouts felt like noise in my ear. 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